Pothole Pete Says, ‘Nuts To Groundhog Day’
Boy, was I mad.
On Groundhog Day, I took a large group of wildlife enthusiasts to Etna Green to see Pothole Pete climb out of his den and give us the scoop on his six-week weather forecast, but he never appeared.
No amountof shout-g into his hole madeany dif- ference. I was mortified. That overstuffed flea bag about his non-appearance on Groundhog Day, but without success. Yesterday, I was finally able to get the story.
“Hey Pothole, com’on out here, you got some explainin’ to do,” I shouted while kneeing on the ground. After four shouts he made an appearance.
What stood before me was a ground hog with blood-shot eyes, ruffled fur and muddy feet. He was covered with confetti and a brightly colored party hat still covered his head.
“Phew, that was some party ol’ Harvey Moot had Tuesday,” he said while downing a half a dozen aspirin.”
“You mean you passed up Groundhog Day to go to a wild party given by Harvey Moot?” “Yep, and it was a doozie. Y’ know, You.’” “Chef Arnie Adnoid served up some Southern Fried Jellow Patties with Pepto Bismol Sauce and Winona Carp Jumablia,” “This was no small party. Deer, turkeys, dogs, cats, squirrels, opossums, hawks, coyotes, beavers, and skunks were all there. When Harvey throws a woodland bash, it’s the talk of the county.”
“The air was filled with romance and I can tell you when litters start appearing this spring, area residents are in for some big surprises.”
“Yea, and while you were partying, Punxsutawney Phil, General Lee, Chipper, French Creek Freddie, Octorara Orphie, Jimmie and a dozen other ground hogs were making news with their forecasts. We only have one talking ground hog in our county and he decides to party instead of prognosticate,” I complained.
“Well, I say nuts to Groundhog Day. Why should I let some fat ninny in a tuxedo drag me out of my warm home in the middle of winter just to satisfy the whims of information-hungry weather watchers? Let them get their weather information from the Weather Channel like everybody else,” Pothole barked back.
“Furthermore, Punxsutawney Phil’s prediction for the next six week isn’t worth a thing. Just look at what happened at this event. They drag the fat that old fossil really knows how to throw a party. My head is still whirling from the music.
